This message is just a few lines long, but the journey to embody self worth can be decades. Our self worth is imprinted on us as a young age, embedded in our psyche so deeply, it's hard to know where to begin to undo the negative messaging. Of course, it's rarely intentionally put upon us, but often as a result of unresolved traumas in other people. We absorb the energies around us and then process them in our own ways, coming to conclusions about ourselves, and our place in the world. 

Understanding the messaging and beliefs we took on and replacing them with new messages; and taking action outside our comfort zone are two things that can help. It seems to be a process of daily actions, daily rephrasing, and constant vigilance in watching our thoughts. And the stakes are high and the change needs to start now!

How amazing would it be if we could just close our eyes and leap into a new version of ourself, not where all our supposed “flaws” are fixed, but simply a version where we have deep self worth!

Do you know how free and powerful we would be!!?

Well, the time is now.

What has become very clear to me, is that low self worth is very destructive, not just to ourselves, but to others. When self esteem is low, it is very difficult to be generous. We think that putting ourselves down is humble, but it actually forces us to invert into self absorption and feeling sad. We focus so much energy on proving that we ARE worthy, or on earning love (which can't actually be earned since it's unconditional!) that we can't share our inherent gifts and love with the world.

Self Worth is our birth right. Self Worth is integral to living a fully expressed life. It is the basic ingredient in being able to give to others here on earth. It is time to take a stand, for ourselves and those around us, so that the world does not miss out on the one in a trillion phenomenon that has graced this world - ourselves.

Building self-worth is serious process that usually involves digging deep to the wounds that echo the deeply embedded low self worth beliefs that run the show of our lives. These wounds are usually from traumas, early childhood ones that often later get reinforced by adult ones. 

Healing and reprogramming happen at a level deeper than thought, and much research has found that the way in is through the body, mindful awareness to it. 

​Some healing modalities that I'm finding helpful include somatic experiencing ancestral clearing meditations. The most important part is to find someone you trust to do this with you. I do NOT recommend using a book or audio and doing it alone, because reprogramming trauma beliefs requires an external regulator outside us - essentially acting as the calm parent we didn't have when our nervous system was being wired.  Some may find doing it alone works, but for me, someone with cPTSD and a child of an alcoholic, doing it alone was actually harmful. Please email me if you would like more information.

This musing was inspired by a fellow graduate of Made to Do This, who wrote:

"I want you to picture a person who, when you walk into a room, you are drawn too. A person that radiates light. A person that is full of self assurance, completely comfortable in their own skin. They don’t have to be surrounded by a crowd, but there is a quiet assurance that they are right where they should be and they are there with intention. They are honest and REAL.....What’s 1 word you would use to describe that person- just one."

I noticed two categories of answers - one was to describe the person on the inside - "loving, peaceful, self assured", and the other describing more the person’s impact on others on the outside "radiant, magnetic, attractive." The first is the cause, the second is the effect.

It made me remember something I've always deeply believed - that our inner selves are what attracts people to us - in a new way.

It's more than being a good person deep down (aren’t we all) and it’s more than thinking good thoughts about others. It’s the relationship we have with ourselves that really defines who we are inside - how we feel inside...and how aligned we are with our deepest truths. And this alignment and these feelings are what attracts our experiences.
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This really touched me. It's become clear that I am in need of a new shift in how I talk and speak to myself inside to get through some blocks that have been challenging me for the past few years. I can see a new life opening before me.

When I first heard someone associate the heart and love with action and doing, while something about it resonated, it didn't feel very intuitive to me. But when I thought of the connecting link being courage it started to make more sense. It takes courage to act, especially outside of our comfort zone, where courage isn’t necessarily the absence of fear, but the willingness to face it and go forward anyways, thus conquering it. And then there’s the idioms of “lion-hearted” or having the “heart of a lion", which means to have the courage of a lion, a courageous heart.

What’s interesting is how the heart is also associated with love, which made me explore the connection between love and courage. It doesn’t seem to be commonly taught, at least not explicitly. I think about years ago when someone told me the opposite of love isn’t hate, but fear, while the opposite of hate is more like attraction or admiration. Fear is contraction, love is expansion. Courage is the ability to face fear and go forth, and although courage isn’t exactly the opposite of fear, maybe it takes love to be courageous and face and conquer fear.

It’s also kind of funny to think that the Tin Man and the Lion in the Wizard of Oz were redundant. Maybe Dorothy needed only two friends - the scarecrow and the lion. Since the heart is what the lion needs to have the courage.